This is Not a Pen

Writing Tips and Hints


• This is not a pen.
• It isn’t what it is. It is what it isn’t.
• Write in 3D, not flat.
• Oh no, no oh oh. Or, oh oh, no oh no.
• Hit me with some action.
• Leave out the boring parts.
• Don’t lay an egg.
• Only include the good stuff.
• Buzz the “was.”
• Slam a book.

“This is not a pen,” and “It isn’t what it is. It is what it isn’t,” are much the same thing. The though is, if this isn’t a pen, then what is it? When I’m writing and need a new place, a new creature, a new character or something for the plot, I tell myself, “This is not a pen.” It’s a reminder to me to be creative and different. It’s a reminder to think about the obvious. What is it the reader would expect? If they anticipate a pen, give them something else to keep the story interesting and to hold on to the readers’ interest.

Keep your writing and ideas fresh. This is not a pen.

In my classes, I use the nursery rhyme, Jack and Jill to illustrate concepts. Let’s look at Jack and Jill now.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after.

This is not a pen. What was that water? Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of magic water. Magic water is a pen. How about a pail of saliva? Or maybe an envelope of water? Be creative.

It is what it isn’t, it isn’t what it is. They went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. They came back with what they thought was water. It did come from the well. To their shock, horror, amusement, etc. it was ???

Write in 3D, not flat.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. What does Jack look like? What does Jill look like? Why did they need the water? Where is the hill? What does it look like?

We really don’t know anything. The story, the characters and the plot are flat. Let’s puff a little dimension into Jack. Yes, we can describe what he looks like, but let’s focus on his personality.

Jack and Jill sat at the corner table in the Wellhill coffee shop. Jack sipped on his white raspberry latte. Jill slammed down her espresso. Hot, strong and thick, It was just as she liked it.

When we insert some personality cues, they start to come alive and change from flat to 3D.

“We need to get that water, or mother will die,” Jack said and looked over his shoulder, worried someone might have heard him.

“But it’s up the hill,” Jill said, her voice loud. “Lots of people have gone up the hill, but no one has ever come down alive.”

You get the idea. Put some life in your writing. Write in 3D, not flat.